Besides being perfect drink, Bloody Mary makes in-laws fun to be around

At the risk of sounding like an alcoholic, I have to proclaim I love Bloody Marys, so much so that if it was physically acceptable, I’d drink a Bloody Mary with every meal.
That said, I’m perfectly aware of my body’s limitations and the havoc alcohol can do to it, so I limit myself to one Bloody Mary a week. I have this drink in the evening, usually on a Friday or Saturday night, and never at breakfast as the hangover cure it’s meant to be. Maybe if I had more than one in the evening, I’d need one in the morning, but I’m guessing that could start an ugly cycle that could lead to alcoholism.
My Blood Mary is simple. I put a shot of vodka in a cup of ice and then add Mr. T’s Bold and Spicy Bloody Mary Mix. I top it with a dash of celery salt and add a pickle, which I use to stir the drink.
According to the New York School of Bartending, I could add a few more items to perfect my drink, including black pepper, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, horseradish and lime juice, but adding all of those flavors seems like too much work. I’m a lazy drinker, not a picky one.
I am picky, though, when it comes to paying for a Bloody Mary at a restaurant, especially when the drink costs between $4 and $7. When my wife and I eat out, I’ll ask the waiter or waitress if the venue’s Bloody Marys are any good. In most cases, if the restaurant has them, the person I ask will always answer affirmatively.
Whether or not I order one depends completely on how affirmative that person is with his or her response. An enthusiastic and descriptive answer tells me this person has tasted the bartender’s Bloody Mary and he or she truly likes it. A less eager response usually means the waiter or waitress isn’t telling me the truth or that he or she has never tried it.
While I’ve had plenty of decent Bloody Marys out on the town, I’ve had my share of bad ones. Some simply taste like tomato juice and vodka combined, a blah mixture, and others are so spicy my mouth explodes more than that volcano in Iceland. People traveling in and out at the Central Wisconsin Airport in Mosinee better hope their flights don’t get grounded after I drink one of those spicy ones.
A restaurant usually serves a Bloody Mary worth my money when it comes with a multitude of garnishes such as celery, olives, carrots and mushrooms, as well as a beer chaser. I’m usually not a fan of the beer chaser, but when I’m paying more than $5 I want to make sure I get the most for my money.
Surprisingly, I’ve never been to a Sunday morning Bloody Mary bar some venues host. I’d love to try it sometime, but I’m scared I’ll like it too much, so much in fact that such a bar would ruin the Bloody Mary experience I have at home. Why would I drink a Pinto-version when I can have the Cadillac of Bloody Marys?
My love for the drink developed because of my in-laws’ extended family. At their family gatherings, the preferred drink amongst the group is the Bloody Mary. I had the drink a few times before becoming a part of the family, but it wasn’t a drink that stood out in my mind. After they served the drink to me on several different occasions, I realized I looked forward to the gatherings because of it. If the drink wasn’t available, I often left disappointed.
Since I can honestly say I like getting together with my in-laws’ family, an accomplishment many married people would say is impossible, it is safe to say the Bloody Mary serves a much more important purpose than supposedly serving as a hangover cure. It makes in-laws fun to be around.
Without going overboard, maybe more people should try one when getting together with the in-laws. And then there will be one less problem in the world people need to worry about.