Yoda voice can make difficult readings easier to understand

When something is difficult to read, give it a Yoda voice. I guarantee you that it will make much more sense. Yoda, being the wise, old Jedi master he is, can make even the most difficult items understandable.


A former co-worker devised this theory in dealing with a writer that often was difficult to read. “Read it out loud in a Yoda voice,” he told me. “You can decipher it then.”

I laughed at his theory, but being a big fan of Yoda, I did so. Not only did my co-workers get a good laugh from my wicked Yoda impression, all of us were able to understand what was written.

For some reason I can’t understand, a Yoda voice adds a dimension to undecipherable writing that slows it down, brings the necessary words to the front and minimizes the unimportant ones. It takes the fear out of reading bad writing, and we all know fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. No one wants to suffer when they read.

I wish I knew about this theory back in college. Reading Chaucer, “The Last of the Mohicans” and Thomas Paine would have been much easier. I could have saved myself hundreds of dollars by buying less Mountain Dew, which I needed to keep myself awake when I read this material for my many English classes.

The Yoda theory works great for me now, not just with some of the material I have to read for the paper, but also with instruction manuals in putting together things. That’s probably because many of these manuals are actually written in Yoda dialect, so reading them the way they were written makes sense.

I put together a portable basketball hoop two weekends ago, and the first sentence was an entire paragraph long, referring to numbers for nouns instead of the actual part that was needed. Yoda voice made it easier to understand, especially since the illustrations included with it were made in Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Yoda may be a fictional character – undoubtedly George Lucas’ ultimate creation – but his value will extend centuries, especially if this theory becomes commonly used, as I propose it should. Schools could offer Yoda courses.

I can imagine it now: “OK class, today we are going to learn why size matters not, and why there is no try. But first, pull out your copy of ‘War and Peace.’ Today, when you read, make sure you put enough gruff in your ‘mmmmm’s at the beginning of each sentence.”

I hope people will make more use of Yoda, as it will make the world a better place. I just hope nobody comes up with a Jar Jar Binks theory. Then we will be in trouble.
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Originally published in The Portage County Gazette on Friday, March 31, 2012.