I have a new philosophy on life. It’s called the Dude Philosophy, and it’s modeled after Jeff Bridges’ character the Dude in the 1998 movie “The Big Lebowski.”
I was one of only a few people to actually see the movie in the theater upon its initial release. I liked it, but not enough to watch it again until recently.
I was motivated to watch it again after reading a feature story about the movie in the most recent issue of Rolling Stone. The article said the film has become the biggest cult movie of its generation, and it is the subject of numerous festivals.
I was surprised to learn this information, because I couldn’t recall anything about the movie except John Goodman’s character, a right-wing, hot-headed Vietnam War veteran who seemed to steal every scene he was in.
The article then stated most people felt the same way I did after their first viewing of the film, mainly because they viewed it as a typical Coen Brothers’ film with zany and exaggerated characters working their way through a somewhat complicated plot. “The Big Lebowski” involves the Dude trying to clear up a kidnap case that he became involved with because he shares a name with one of the people involved in the matter.
But, the article said, the film’s plot is only essential in that it helps the audience understand the characters better, as the movie is actually a complicated character study, and when viewed that way it takes on numerous other meanings.
With that in mind, I watched the film again and was completely surprised to find this to be true, making what I thought was an OK film into a classic.
The Dude is a character who is perfectly happy with life as it is. He’s happy bowling, relaxing in his bathtub at night and hanging out with his friends. Whatever gets thrown at him, he takes in stride.
When a mix-up with his name causes him to become involved in a weird kidnapping, the Dude wants the issue resolved as quickly and easily as possible.
Unfortunately for him, his best friend Walter, played by Goodman, is the complete opposite, and he injects himself in the matter in hopes the two can steal the ransom money the Dude is somehow convinced to deliver. Every time the Dude finds a way out of the situation, Walter screws things up more and the Dude finds himself in an even worse situation.
After watching the film I realized the Dude has the perfect philosophy on life – take it easy (even if you hate the Eagles, which he does).
People in the South have this philosophy, but Midwesterners, with our constant need to stay busy, definitely don’t. We like to work and often don’t take time to appreciate even the simple things life has to offer, simple things like parks, trains, libraries and bubbles. I selected these items because they are my son Braden’s favorite things, and at the age of 3 he is zipping through life with few worries, much like the Dude.
It may be too late for me to be like Braden and the Dude, as my ways have been set for awhile. Those ways include worries most people have and the inability to completely relax.
But I’m trying. Attempting to use the Dude Philosophy this past weekend, I did something I don’t normally do. I let my wife drive. My most unDude-like moments occur when I’m driving, as I tend to get upset easily by bad drivers, so following a Labor Day parade in Redgranite and knowing traffic would be a nightmare, I handed the keys to my wife and told her to get us out of there. She easily did, proving the Dude Philosophy works.
I’m also attempting to use it more when dealing with the side of Braden that rears its ugly head every so often – his naughty side. Instead of yelling at him when this side occurs, I’ve been talking to him as adults talk to other adults and explaining that his naughtiness will have consequences, which will affect both him and others. I calmly tell him “Good boys get good things, naughty boys get none.” He says it now, and it’s been working wonders.
The Dude would be proud of me.
Showing posts with label carefree attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label carefree attitude. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Carefree attitude can be embarrassing but fun
I grew up as a Protestant, so I never developed the ability to just hang loose and not care what others think about me. At all costs I avoid doing anything that will make me look foolish in the eyes of others.
So I find it difficult to watch people that are able to be fun, sporadic and carefree. I feel as though they may be embarrassing themselves and they need someone to tell them to act “normal.”
That’s how I felt at Brews, Brats & Bands Saturday night in Stevens Point when the couple in front of us danced, kissed and partied as if they were the only ones there. My wife, Jenny, and I, along with others around us, couldn’t believe the show they put on, one that threatened the main stage performance in terms of entertainment value.
It started out harmless and slow. They set up their space with a blanket and pretty cool rocking lawn chairs. As a people watcher, I tend to focus on people I think will be entertaining, even if it is painful to watch. People watching is always fun, no matter where I am, but it always seems a little better at events like this.
I found a target right away – a young woman who danced the same for every song – never expecting the couple right in front of me to be the much better target.
As I watched my target, Jenny pointed out the lady eight feet from us was having a really good time. I glanced at the lady, agreed with Jenny, and was perfectly content to allow her to provide updates whenever she did anything worth watching. I needed to continue watching one-dance woman.
I didn’t have a chance, as Jenny kept interrupting the sideshow I was watching to look at her find. This lady had multiple moves dancing to the songs – none of them to the beats and rhythms of the song – and she partied as though it was 1985 and the last day of her high school career.
Her husband was much more reserved at first, at one point setting up a perimeter around the blanket. I told Jenny it was to keep others from moving into his territory, since the crowd started to grow.
But Jenny completely nailed it when she told me it was to keep his wife/girlfriend confined from unleashing her inner-party beast to the rest of the crowd. Because as the night progressed, she never left the blanket area, while her husband/boyfriend made numerous food and drink runs, which contributed to him becoming more like his wife/girlfriend.
Shortly after music resumed following a break, both of them were in even better spirits, rocking like John Lennon and George Harrison had come back from the dead and reunited with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr on their own private stage in Stevens Point.
Without a warning, painfully watching them embarrass themselves became even more painful, not because I felt sorry for them but because I became jealous they were able to have such a good time.
I was having a good time, mostly at their expense, but I could tell they were having a better time than anyone there. Heck, as far as they were concerned they were watching a reunited Beatles. I wanted to be watching that too.
This ultimately leads me to a dilemma. Would I rather not embarrass myself or would I rather have a lot more fun? It’s a question I’m still trying to figure out an answer to.
It’s also one that greatly depends on the people around me. I was recently boating with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend. Feeling carefree and not caring whether or not I embarrassed myself, I stood up on the bow of the boat and yelled “I’m king of the world,” like Leonardo DiCaprio did in “Titanic.” Others on the lake laughed, amused someone would do such a thing but completing appreciating the humor involved.
My sister-in-law and her boyfriend reacted as I would have had someone else done it – embarrassed. Although I amused others on the lake, they were not so amused.
In reality, I interact with them on a regular basis, while I’ll probably never see the others on the lake again. If I can handle the knowledge that I embarrassed others because of my actions, then I’ll learn to become more carefree. If not, I’ll remain a typical Protestant. But inside I’m having a lot of fun thinking about the possibilities of letting loose.
So I find it difficult to watch people that are able to be fun, sporadic and carefree. I feel as though they may be embarrassing themselves and they need someone to tell them to act “normal.”
That’s how I felt at Brews, Brats & Bands Saturday night in Stevens Point when the couple in front of us danced, kissed and partied as if they were the only ones there. My wife, Jenny, and I, along with others around us, couldn’t believe the show they put on, one that threatened the main stage performance in terms of entertainment value.
It started out harmless and slow. They set up their space with a blanket and pretty cool rocking lawn chairs. As a people watcher, I tend to focus on people I think will be entertaining, even if it is painful to watch. People watching is always fun, no matter where I am, but it always seems a little better at events like this.
I found a target right away – a young woman who danced the same for every song – never expecting the couple right in front of me to be the much better target.
As I watched my target, Jenny pointed out the lady eight feet from us was having a really good time. I glanced at the lady, agreed with Jenny, and was perfectly content to allow her to provide updates whenever she did anything worth watching. I needed to continue watching one-dance woman.
I didn’t have a chance, as Jenny kept interrupting the sideshow I was watching to look at her find. This lady had multiple moves dancing to the songs – none of them to the beats and rhythms of the song – and she partied as though it was 1985 and the last day of her high school career.
Her husband was much more reserved at first, at one point setting up a perimeter around the blanket. I told Jenny it was to keep others from moving into his territory, since the crowd started to grow.
But Jenny completely nailed it when she told me it was to keep his wife/girlfriend confined from unleashing her inner-party beast to the rest of the crowd. Because as the night progressed, she never left the blanket area, while her husband/boyfriend made numerous food and drink runs, which contributed to him becoming more like his wife/girlfriend.
Shortly after music resumed following a break, both of them were in even better spirits, rocking like John Lennon and George Harrison had come back from the dead and reunited with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr on their own private stage in Stevens Point.
Without a warning, painfully watching them embarrass themselves became even more painful, not because I felt sorry for them but because I became jealous they were able to have such a good time.
I was having a good time, mostly at their expense, but I could tell they were having a better time than anyone there. Heck, as far as they were concerned they were watching a reunited Beatles. I wanted to be watching that too.
This ultimately leads me to a dilemma. Would I rather not embarrass myself or would I rather have a lot more fun? It’s a question I’m still trying to figure out an answer to.
It’s also one that greatly depends on the people around me. I was recently boating with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend. Feeling carefree and not caring whether or not I embarrassed myself, I stood up on the bow of the boat and yelled “I’m king of the world,” like Leonardo DiCaprio did in “Titanic.” Others on the lake laughed, amused someone would do such a thing but completing appreciating the humor involved.
My sister-in-law and her boyfriend reacted as I would have had someone else done it – embarrassed. Although I amused others on the lake, they were not so amused.
In reality, I interact with them on a regular basis, while I’ll probably never see the others on the lake again. If I can handle the knowledge that I embarrassed others because of my actions, then I’ll learn to become more carefree. If not, I’ll remain a typical Protestant. But inside I’m having a lot of fun thinking about the possibilities of letting loose.
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