A little over a year ago I visited Alcatraz while my wife and I were in San Francisco, Calif. Three weeks ago, Fox debuted a new J.J. Abrams (“Lost,” “Fringe”) television series, “Alcatraz,” which tells the “real story” of the prison island’s last inmates in 1963. When I visited the island, nothing in the tour mentioned anything about this “real story,” probably because it’s completely fictional.
Apparently other people don’t understand the difference between fact and fiction, though, as Parks Services representatives have told members of the media they’ve caught people sneaking into closed areas on the island looking for the “secret” control room featured in the television show.
I wouldn’t think this difference would be hard to figure out. In the television show, the last inmates were not put in other prisons when Alcatraz was closed, but instead mysteriously vanished. Nearly 50 years later, they started reappearing – at the same age they were in 1963 – with many of them resuming the crimes they had committed many years prior.
Part science-fiction, part procedural crime thriller and part time-travel story, “Alcatraz” is about as real as “Star Wars,” as only in a galaxy far, far away could any of this have actually occurred. Like “Star Wars,” though, it’s fun fiction that’s meant to let our imaginations explore realms of different possibilities. Unlike “Star Wars,” it’s only mediocre, as it leans far too close to repetitive “CSI” territory than it does to out-of-this world “Lost” and “Fringe” territory that Abrams is best at doing.
Because some people don’t understand the difference between fiction and reality, Alcatraz has now posted signs on the island that read: “The TV show Alcatraz is fictional; many areas it depicts are not real. Closed areas protect you, historic structures and nesting birds.”
They should have just posted a sign that said “All stupid people should get back on the boat. We don’t want to be responsible for you.”
In fact, the Alcatraz tour groups should weed these people out before even boating the ferry. As a federal island, security measures limit what people can take to the island, and everybody has to go through several checkpoints before boarding. One more stop should be included in which somebody quizzes each boarder with one question: “Do you expect to see Hurley at Alcatraz?” “Yes” answers mean no entry.
When I told my wife about the stupidity of some people visiting Alcatraz, she quickly pointed out I’m not much different. “Well… it isn’t that much different than someone recreating a pose from ‘The Rock’ for a photo op,” she said. “It’s a blurred line between fiction and reality.”
She was referring to a photo I had her take of me pretending to hold some flares with the skyline of San Francisco in the background from Alcatraz, much like Nick Cage did in the 1996 film.
“These people are looking for something that doesn’t really exist,” I argued. “I was recreating something that exists.”
“And you were pretending to be something that isn’t real,” she said. “The movie exists, but the story was fictional. So in essence, you were imitating fiction, as are they. You know you can’t win this argument.”
“No. They are literally looking for something that doesn’t exist because they think it does exist,” I said.
“Or so they say,” she said.
At that point I realized I shouldn’t separate fact from fiction. The fact is I was never going to win this argument. I never do. Winning would be fiction.
****
Originally published in The Portage County Gazette on Friday, Feb. 3, 2012.
Showing posts with label stupid people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid people. Show all posts
Friday, February 3, 2012
Friday, April 8, 2011
Citizenship test results show how government operates
Gov. Scott Walker may want to think twice about cutting school funds, given the results of a recent Newsweek study.
The magazine gave 1,000 Americans the test immigrants need to pass in order to become a U.S. citizen, and only 62 percent of those taking the test passed.
Even more surprising, large percentages of those taking the test didn’t know the answers to seemingly simple questions, such as the name of the current vice president and what the U.S. was fighting against during the Cold War.
According to Newsweek, 29 percent did not know Joe Biden is the current vice president, while a whopping 73 percent didn’t know the U.S. was fighting communism during the Cold War.
While the vice president’s role isn’t nearly as important as that of the president, it’s still significant enough that people should know who is in the position.
While not knowing that bit of information can be excusable, not knowing the single most important fact about the Cold War is inexcusable. Lasting nearly 50 years, the Cold War was significant to the everyday lives of a large percentage of today’s population.
I remember growing up to the fear of communism, even though the threat in the late 1970s and 1980s was greatly diminished compared to what it was in earlier decades. How many people don’t remember this – or how younger generations may not have learned about it – seems incomprehensible to me.
Other interesting results from the test: 23 percent didn’t know Martin Luther King Jr. fought for civil rights; 33 percent didn’t know the Declaration of Independence was adopted July 4, 1776; and only 37 percent knew there are nine justices on the Supreme Court.
Andrew Romano, a Newsweek senior writer, said he believes it’s not an issue of stupidity, but more of one about ignorance. People don’t know some of the specifics because their brains are too preoccupied just trying to understand the basics of our complicated government system, he said, noting they do have a pretty good grasp on how our government works.
That’s kind of encouraging to hear, because I would have guessed few people could understand how it works, since it often seems more dysfunctional than functional. Most of the time, it appears to operate despite its many flaws.
And one of those flaws – how government handles education funding – may be the exact reason why so many people failed this test. It’s not a secret that education has taken funding hits in recent years, and as a result many schools have changed their curriculum to focus on material featured in standardized tests. It’s hard to blame them since those tests are used to measure schools’ performance.
Those tests usually don’t focus on specifics, like the name of our vice president, and instead concentrate on more general operational issues. Essentially then, the test results are perfectly reflective of what our government has created. But most of us know this already, since we are well versed in how government operates.
The magazine gave 1,000 Americans the test immigrants need to pass in order to become a U.S. citizen, and only 62 percent of those taking the test passed.
Even more surprising, large percentages of those taking the test didn’t know the answers to seemingly simple questions, such as the name of the current vice president and what the U.S. was fighting against during the Cold War.
According to Newsweek, 29 percent did not know Joe Biden is the current vice president, while a whopping 73 percent didn’t know the U.S. was fighting communism during the Cold War.
While the vice president’s role isn’t nearly as important as that of the president, it’s still significant enough that people should know who is in the position.
While not knowing that bit of information can be excusable, not knowing the single most important fact about the Cold War is inexcusable. Lasting nearly 50 years, the Cold War was significant to the everyday lives of a large percentage of today’s population.
I remember growing up to the fear of communism, even though the threat in the late 1970s and 1980s was greatly diminished compared to what it was in earlier decades. How many people don’t remember this – or how younger generations may not have learned about it – seems incomprehensible to me.
Other interesting results from the test: 23 percent didn’t know Martin Luther King Jr. fought for civil rights; 33 percent didn’t know the Declaration of Independence was adopted July 4, 1776; and only 37 percent knew there are nine justices on the Supreme Court.
Andrew Romano, a Newsweek senior writer, said he believes it’s not an issue of stupidity, but more of one about ignorance. People don’t know some of the specifics because their brains are too preoccupied just trying to understand the basics of our complicated government system, he said, noting they do have a pretty good grasp on how our government works.
That’s kind of encouraging to hear, because I would have guessed few people could understand how it works, since it often seems more dysfunctional than functional. Most of the time, it appears to operate despite its many flaws.
And one of those flaws – how government handles education funding – may be the exact reason why so many people failed this test. It’s not a secret that education has taken funding hits in recent years, and as a result many schools have changed their curriculum to focus on material featured in standardized tests. It’s hard to blame them since those tests are used to measure schools’ performance.
Those tests usually don’t focus on specifics, like the name of our vice president, and instead concentrate on more general operational issues. Essentially then, the test results are perfectly reflective of what our government has created. But most of us know this already, since we are well versed in how government operates.
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