I’m not a fan of cliffhangers. I think they’re cheap ploys to ensure somebody comes back to something. Television shows do it all the time, and films do too to guarantee the sequel’s success.
As a youngster, I remember watching “Superman” (the movie) for the first time during its network television premiere, and then being greatly disappointed when they split it over two nights, with the split occurring just after Clark Kent gained his superhero abilities. A little boy of only 5 or 6, I remember crying myself to sleep that night because I was desperate to find out what happened next. This was in the days before VHS, so in order to find out how it ended I needed to watch the second half when it was broadcast on television. Needless to say, I wasn’t able to see it, so I had to wait years to find out if Superman saved the day (I now realize it’s foolish to think it was even possible that he wouldn’t).
I encountered the ultimate cliffhanger several years later when I saw “The Empire Strikes Back” in the movie theater. The “Star Wars” sequel was the greatest movie I had ever seen (and it still is), but the ending left people hanging. Were the rebels going to rescue Han Solo from his carbonite prison? Was Luke going to finish his Jedi training? Was Darth Vader really his father?
People had to wait three years for the answers to these questions, and the wait was excruciating.
The wait to find out how any cliffhanger is resolved is usually painful, mainly because the payoff is weak in comparison to our hopes. “Return of the Jedi” was a worthy follow-up it seemed at the time, but in hindsight it could have been much better. Mark Hamill didn’t age well, Harrison Ford phoned in his acting for the film and the dialogue is laughable in places. Carrie Fisher in a gold bikini made the wait worth it, though. On the other hand, Jar Jar Binks was definitely not worth the 16-year wait for the next “Star Wars” film.
I bring up cliffhangers because I kind of left people with one last week in my column about my 10-year proposal anniversary to my wife, Jenny. To quote myself: “The next 10 years should be interesting, too. But I’ll address that next week.”
Why will they be interesting? What more can this loud mouth tell us about his family that he hasn’t already told us? Enough already about that kid of theirs?
Well, if you don’t like me writing about my family, you better stop reading this column because my family is about to get bigger.
Not bigger in the physical sense, although the way Braden eats that’s definitely possible, but bigger number wise. After trying for years, and being told it’s most likely not going to happen, Jenny, Braden and I will welcome a new baby to our family in August. That’s right, I’ll have one more Steuck to write about.
We learned shortly before Christmas Jenny was pregnant; Mother Nature gave us a Christmas present we really wanted but thought we’d never get. We thought this because several doctors and nurses have told us the chances of Jenny getting pregnant again were slim to none because she had an ovary removed several years ago due to endometriosis.
When I told her to get a pregnancy test after complaining about several possible symptoms, she laughed at me. Several days later, after realizing I might be right in my guess about her problems, she did. Two positive tests later, she realized it would be time to start coming up with some baby names.
We had Braden’s name fairly early, although we didn’t tell anybody.
We have several possibilities for this baby. They are..., well, come back later to find out.
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Originally published in The Portage County Gazette on Friday, Feb. 17, 2012.
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