Harry Potter and the Spoiler Muggle

I can’t believe Harry dies.
Just kidding. I don’t know whether or not he lives or dies in J.K. Rowling’s final installment of the Harry Potter saga, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” because I haven’t finished the 759-page saga yet. I’m on page 300 and am hoping to finish it this coming weekend so nobody spoils the ending for me.
Somebody may already have, though. A girl walking in front of me at the Farmers Market in Madison last weekend had the fate of one of the main characters printed on the back of her shirt. Reading the shirt was like finding out in third grade from a classmate that the big S (rhymes with manta) doesn’t exist.
The shirt also said she was the “#1 Harry Potter fan.” I don’t think so. A true fan wouldn’t spoil a major plot point for others. A true fan would respect others and their right to discover the joys of Rowling’s magical universal for themselves. A true fan wouldn’t be walking around Madison less than 12 hours after the release of the book; he or she would be at home reading the book.
That’s why I won’t review the book, even if I had finished it. Sure, it’s possible to review a book without giving anything away -- the New York Times did a great job doing so for Harry Potter last week -- but I’d feel really guilty if I accidentally said something in my ramblings that could be construed as a spoiler. I’m not that third grader that ruined a certain holiday for me in 1984.
But, I’m more than happy to talk about my Harry Potter week.
This week began by finishing the sixth book, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” and ended by starting “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” In between, I set out on my own Harry Potter-esque adventure to find the four Harry Potter movies to refresh my memory and enlighten my wife, a complete muggle when it comes to the boy wizard and his friends and enemies.
I am by no means a Harry Potter fanatic, or at least I wasn’t. I bought “Half-Blood Prince” when it came out, but then I put it on my bookshelf after only 128 pages, moving on to other things. With all the media hype surrounding Harry Potter with the release of the final book and the fifth movie, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” I knew I had to finish it so I wouldn’t be left out of all the water-cooler talk.
I’m glad I did, because “Half-Blood Prince” was my favorite Harry Potter novel. It was what “The Empire Strikes Back” was to George Lucas’ “Star Wars” movies – the one that pulls you in emotionally. Until this book, Harry Potter was a mere amusement to me, something I was never attached to emotionally. I thank the stars I waited until the week before “Deathly Hallows” to read “Half-Blood Prince,” because I couldn’t have survived a two-year wait to find out how it all ends.
I stood in line, along with more than 70 others, at my local bookstore in Wautoma, Bookworms!, from 11:30 p.m. Friday until the book’s official release at 12:01 a.m. Saturday. I had pre-ordered the book, so I wasn’t afraid of not receiving a copy; I just wanted to start reading it that night. Plus, the store had food, fun, games and prizes – four of my favorite things.
In a perfect world I could have finished the final book over the weekend. But reading late at night always puts me to sleep, and my 2-year-old keeps me busy during the day.
I look forward to the day I can read these books to him, even if they are very dark, especially the later ones. Life can be dark, though, and Rowling does a good job showing the reality of death, which many parents have a tough time explaining to kids.
I’m not worried about explaining Harry Potter to my son; it’s my wife I’m working on now. She finally agreed to watch the Harry Potter movies in exchange for me watching her all-time favorite television series, “The Young Riders.” I’m not crazy about this western from the early nineties, but I have come to appreciate the extraordinary amount of gore-less violence in it. People are getting shot, hanged and stabbed left and right, many times by the show’s heroes, all of whom seem extraordinarily happy despite all the violence.
Finding these movies for her to watch was unusually difficult. The video stores had rented out all their copies because of Harry Potter-mania, and none of the retail stores, including the all-having Wal-Mart, stocked them. I finally found the first two movies at Kohl’s, which is very well known for its one end cap DVD selection.
To my surprise, my wife liked the movies. I have a feeling she doesn’t want to be out of the Harry Potter loop, especially since many of her friends are fanatics.
Maybe she’ll become a fanatic, too. I’m just crossing my fingers she won’t be like that mean third-grader.