I never imagined the $50 fee for a two-day newspaper training session in Madison last weekend could include tickets for two high-profile acts – Joe Cocker and Rod Stewart. Heck, I didn’t even know they were playing in Madison.
They weren’t, but someone imitating them was, much to my pleasure and the pleasure of my colleague, Matthew Brown. While eating the Howard Johnson’s continental breakfast Saturday morning, happy the food was somewhat better than the horrible thing called “lunch” that was served the day before, one of the kitchen helpers making sure the cereal dispensers were working properly suddenly burst into song.
It started with a simple conversation he had with someone getting breakfast. The hotel patron was complaining to the kitchen helper about the Styrofoam cups the hotel offered for people to use, telling him she wanted something “beautiful.”
Pressing his hand on her back, he asked if she wanted a cup “beautiful like her.”
And seconds later, he broke into Cocker’s “You Are So Beautiful.”
His voice wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t one people would normally make public. However, his confidence in his singing ability and his charm more than made up for his lackluster voice, and it was definitely a step up from what his kitchen offered.
The full dining room of people didn’t know what to make of this singing spectacle. The regulars there didn’t seem to notice, but most others gave each other uncomfortable looks and looked in every direction except his.
Matthew and I ate it up, though. If the food was going to be awful, then we were going to get our fill on entertainment.
Seeing he had an audience, the singing kitchen helper kept going, turning one Joe Cocker song into a medley of Joe Cocker songs. Halfway through the medley, he decided he no longer wanted to be Joe Cocker and instead wanted to be Rod Stewart.
“Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Rod Stewart,” he said in introducing his new persona.
The medley continued for about a minute until he slipped back into the kitchen, presumably not to spend anytime with the food to make it better.
Matthew and I applauded his performance, the only ones to do so. We were hoping he would come out for an encore, but alas it was not to be, as we never saw him again.
The Joe Cocker/Rod Stewart kitchen helper had the gall to do something I avoid at all costs – embarrassing one’s self.
They say some people would rather die than speak in public. This is only partially true, because I don’t think it’s the speaking in public that bothers people. It’s the worrying about potentially embarrassing themselves by saying something idiotic or stupid that makes them fear it so much. I have no problem with public speaking, as long as I’m well prepared and know exactly what I want to say. But put me on the spot and I’m more likely to fear the occasion.
But our singer clearly didn’t have that fear, even when the majority of his audience believed he should have kept his mouth shut. Later, though, I’m sure some of those people were telling their friends about the guy, and how much they enjoyed his performance. In the end, he came across as a likeable guy people wouldn’t mind knowing.
It’s a good lesson to remember the next time you’re faced with public speaking situations: even the not-so-great singer couldn’t really embarrass himself.
His job performance is another matter, though. He never checked the cereal dispensers, because if he had, he would have noticed the Fruit Loops one wasn’t working. And those Fruit Loops could have been a big help to some unsatisfied stomachs.
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Originally published in The Portage County Gazette on Friday, May 6, 2011.
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