I prefer to keep this column light-hearted, but this week I’m addressing a serious topic in which I want to avoid being funny, despite the fact the subject matter often opens itself to bathroom humor, literally.
The subject: colonoscopies.
I had one two weeks ago, several days after some blood issues prompted me to visit Urgent Care at Ministry St. Michael’s Hospital in Stevens Point.
My father-in-law died one month ago, at the still young age of 57, following a two-year battle with colon cancer. Despite the fact he had a family history of colon cancer – his father dying from it in 2003 – he refused to get one once he reached his 50s. I’m not sure why he refused to do so, but I know it was his biggest regret in life, and in his final years he told many others to make sure they get a colonoscopy once they reach the right age.
I’m still 14 years away from 50, but because of the blood issues the examining doctor didn’t have an answer for, I was scheduled for one later in the week. Although nervous about it, my father-in-law’s experience left no doubt as to what I needed to do.
The day before the procedure, I had to drink a number of laxative-type drinks that emptied my system. It was not a pleasant experience, but far more people go through worse ones than I did sitting on a toilet most of the evening.
The only difficulty I had the day of the procedure was producing a ripe vein for the nurses to give me an IV. They tried for 40 minutes until they found one, during a time in which I nearly fainted once. They said men often do, as they don’t like the thought of needles.
After being wheeled into the procedure room, the doctor explained a little about what he was going to do. I’ll admit the only thing I really cared to listen about was the fact that I was going to be given medication that would put me out for the procedure. After being given the medication, the next thing I remember was being told I could get dressed.
With my clothes back on, the doctor told me he removed several polyps from my colon, but the cause of my blood issues was a colon infection. Colon infections occur when hard-to-digest food in the stomach and colon can’t break down and it remains there. I’m not sure what I ate to cause it, but I’m sure it wasn’t that good going down.
The doctor said the polyps will be tested for cancer and I will be notified a week later with the results.
One week later, I received a letter stating the polyps were noncancerous adenomatous polyps. These polyps grow slowly over three to 10 years, and they can become cancerous. Because I now have a history of them, I’m required to return for another colonoscopy in five years and then again in another five years, which means I will have three of them before turning 50.
Although the polyps only had a possibility of becoming cancerous, a big part of me believes my father-in-law may have saved my life in the future by sending a colon infection my way to force me to get a colonoscopy. Without it, I would have gone 14 years before my first one, which may have been too late.
Nothing like getting a probe from above to maybe save my life. Alright, I had to throw at least one colonoscopy joke in there to be at least a little funny. But seriously, if you’re 50 or older and haven’t had one, do so now. And if you suspect something may be wrong, don’t hesitate. I knew someone who would have very much liked me giving this advice.
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Originally published in The Portage County Gazette on Friday, July 29, 2011.
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