Portable devices don’t mix well with toilets

I met someone last weekend who had just lost her cellphone in a toilet – actually a port-a-potty to be exact. Good luck retrieving that one.


I know someone else who has ruined several phones by dropping them into the toilet. Either she hasn’t liked her phones or she’s a klutz who likes to use her phone in the bathroom, which I’m guessing is not a good combination.

My wife cracked her iPod touch recently after dropping it several times.

The secretary of a friend of mine dropped some canned goods on her iPad, smashing it.

A Scrabble buddy of mine discovered his iPad was cracked one day. He’s not sure how that occurred, but he blames the cleaning lady at his office.

I could keep going on with a list of ways people have broken, lost or ruined handheld electronic devices, and I’m sure every one of you has your own story or knows somebody else’s story about technological disasters on a portable scale. I won’t, simply because such occurrences have become common in today’s society.

I’m knocking on wood right now as I write this, because the only device I’ve ever ruined was an old-school cellphone (not the Zach Morris “Saved by the Bell” type, but one without “smart” capabilities) that I accidently left in my pants and then washed. I’m fortunate as I’m surrounded by these devices – an iPod touch, iPad, smartphone, PlayStation Vita and my son’s Nintendo 3DS, to name a few.

Some of us pay monthly fees to insure these devices, while others risk it without insurance. My phone is insured, but my other devices aren’t, only because they don’t come with contracts. Should I ever lose or break one of those devices, I’ll have to use my own money to fix or replace it.

I’m glad I don’t live in New York City, as the theft of Apple products like my iPod touch and iPad has become a major crime issue. Since the beginning of the year, thieves have stolen 1,447 Apple devices in the city, which is a 40-percent increase from 2011.

To combat the crime, police officers there are warning people to keep those devices hidden and out of the reach of others when they take them out in the public, and they have set up booths outside Apple stores to show people how to turn on electronic tracking devices those items have.

I’m sure police officers there are more than happy to spend more time teaching people how to prevent Apple thefts than what they used to spend a lot of time doing – solving murders. Murder rates in the city are at a historic low, probably because all the potential murderers are either busy stealing or using Apple products.

I’m not sure what the theft rate on those products is in Stevens Point, but I’m guessing it’s not nearly as bad. Toilets seem to be a bigger problem for those devices. Maybe they can set up shop outside a bathroom and teach people to keep those items in their pockets.
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Originally published in The Portage County Gazette on Sept. 28, 2012.