Every person needs a John Williams theme song

I’ve been listening to a lot of John Williams lately and not necessarily by choice.


My 5-year-old son, Braden, has become obsessed with the “Indiana Jones” films, and he loves the theme song, “The Raiders March,” from the first of the four films, “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” While taking him to school in the morning, he requests me to play it, on repeat. The same applies to the return home trip.

That amounts to six times a day for two weeks in a row now. Although I have no musical background whatsoever, I believe if given an instrument, I could probably play a rough version of the song that would pass a test if it were being graded.

It’s too late for me to ever have a music career, but if he keeps listening to the song like he has, then it’s possible he could become the next John Williams, or at least John Morris, composer for “Spaceballs,” the “Star Wars” spoof.

Since my John Williams-type career won’t happen, I could resort to the next best option, one I believe every person should utilize: the playing of a specific John Williams film song as one enters a room with other people in it, sort of a theme song to identify the person.

My song of choice would either be “The Imperial March (Darth Vader’s Theme)” from “The Empire Strikes Back,” the greatest film of all-time, or “Superman Theme” from “Superman,” another top-five film of all-time.

While the two songs are completely opposite of each other – “The Imperial March” uses more bass-producing instruments to convey the evilness that is Darth Vader and “Superman Theme” is all about the majesty that is Superman – I like to think I’m a complicated-enough individual that both themes could apply to me, depending on my mood.

“The Raiders March” applies perfectly to Braden, as he’s young and adventurous. When he’s naughty, I’d make him enter the room to “Main Title (Theme from Jaws).” That way people are warned a little path of destruction is coming their way.

My wife, Jenny, she’s “Escape/Chase/Saying Goodbye,” the “flying theme” in “E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial.” This 15-minute epic captures E.T.’s intelligence and compassion for others, traits Jenny possesses in abundance.

Since every room is not equipped with a sound system that can automatically play a person’s theme, another way to actually do this is needed. In today’s iPod society, it’s possible to do it by just hitting play as you enter a room, although the tiny speakers are limiting and the full effect won’t be felt.

A better solution is to bring back shoulder pads popular in the 1980s. These shoulder pads, however, would actually be small but powerful speakers connected directly to a person’s iPod or other music-playing device. I like this solution because it brings back a style that should never have gone out of style, and it allows for a person’s presence to be known immediately.

Plus, it would be interesting to see what other people select as their theme song. John Williams has plenty of music to choose from, and most of it is excellent. I’m sure most people would choose his most popular songs – like I have for my family and me – but those songs are all classics that can be heard on repeat, just like I’ve been listening to one of them for weeks now.

And after a couple of months of such listening, we’ll all probably be musically inclined enough to become the next John Williams. That literally sounds good to me.