‘Ugly Sweater’ contest makes Christmas even more fun

Christmas with my wife’s mother’s family is a blast. The Farrell clan, most hailing from the Milwaukee area, are some of the craziest people I’ve ever met, and most will go out of their way to have a good time. This year was no exception, especially when an “Ugly Sweater” contest was thrown in the mix.


The contest was sort of my idea. My mother-in-law, though, had suggested last year it sounded like a fun idea, and several weeks ago I remembered her suggestion. I reminded my wife, Jenny, and we immediately sent out an e-mail to family members telling them the plan.

Several of them had questions, asking what was allowed and what was not allowed. Jenny realized official rules were needed, so she came up with an awesome list, which included:

1) Sweater is to be broadly defined as any item of apparel that includes a holiday theme, and is not limited to articles of clothing.

2) No inappropriate attire will be accepted, such as an adult diaper with a Christmas tree on it.

3) You may multi-layer with a variety of themed apparel.

4) Duplication and coordination is permissible.

5) Grandma will not win by default.

6) Apparel may be cross gendered.

7) Logowear not normally associated with Christmas is open to interpretation but considered a weak attempt as a stand-alone item.

8) Accessories are considered favorable accents.

9) Daisy Dukes are not acceptable.

10) Animal parts will be considered, such as antlers.

11) Animal “parts” does not include animal scents.

12) Holiday-themed “scrubs” are allowed.

As you can see, the “Ugly Sweater” contest became much more than just about finding an ugly sweater, which was a good thing because that type of contest is already overplayed. When shopping for ugly sweaters at Goodwill a couple of weeks ago, four other groups were there shopping for the same thing. Clearly, this type of contest has become popular with other families, too.

By broadening it, we allowed for some crazy outfits. The first-place winner in our contest, Jake Farrell, wore a Christmas vest matched with some horrendous looking Christmas pants.

Two others tied for second. Ryan Farrell earned his prize by wearing a sweater that was too small (it wasn’t even a Christmas sweater) and Matt Farrell claimed a trophy by wearing a girl’s sweater wrap. He fortunately spared us by wearing a shirt to cover what this wrap didn’t, although he said he thought about going shirtless with the wrap.

Nonwinners included my sister-in-law, Raechel, wearing an outfit to go along with the Christmas song “Dominick the Donkey” and my father-in-law, whom I voted for, wearing a Christmas vest with an owl perched on one shoulder and Michael Jackson gold military straps on the other one.

Seeing the outfits everybody wore was a blast, and even Grandma Farrell, who didn’t quite get the contest at first because to her – the wearer of many Christmas sweaters – all such sweaters are obviously beautiful, got into the contest.

I sported a shag carpet sweater from which we cut off the sleeves and Jenny lined with tinsel. It was actually a comfortable sweater to wear, and I considered reusing it to wear to work.

Next year, the family is going to go with a Christmas hat theme. I better start thinking of some ideas between now and then.