Family’s nail worse than Packers’ ‘dagger’

I’m not sure who had a worse day on Sunday: the Green Bay Packers in barely beating the winless Detroit Lions or my family who had to substitute a trip on the Ducks in Wisconsin Dells with more than five hours of dealing with a hapless chain store.


Our troubles started more than two hours before the hyped Packers began their listless game against the Lions. On our way out of the Dells, after spending four days there for a mini-vacation (not so much so for my wife, Jenny, who was there more for work reasons), we decided to stop at one of the many places offering Ducks tours. Our son, Braden, and I had never been on one before, and because the autumn weather was beautiful, we thought it was the perfect opportunity to take a maiden Ducks voyage.

Exiting our vehicle and walking to the ticket entrance, Jenny noticed the front driver’s side tire was going flat. I looked and noticed a nail in the tire, much to all of our dismay.

Being Sunday, we decided the situation needed to be addressed immediately. I got out our spare tire and fairly quickly replaced the flattening tire with it. A bit of an expert at changing tires, as it really is the only mechanical thing I can do with a vehicle (even changing a windshield wiper is too much of an endeavor for me), I figured this problem was going to be quickly resolved.

Since most car mechanics are closed on Sundays, and also being in the Dells, which doesn’t seem to have many service garages available next to any of its dozen water parks, we took our vehicle to a chain store that features an auto center where we figured the mechanics there could fix the tire and put it back on the car, allowing us to drive back to Plover on a real tire and not a spare.

The lady who helped us was rude, but we didn’t really care. As long as they could fix the tire in the back of our vehicle and put it back on, life would be good.

Forty minutes later, when the problem was allegedly fixed, we got in our vehicle for the trip home. Jenny noticed they hadn’t charged us to fix the tire, so I got out to examine it to make sure a nail wasn’t still embedded in it.

The tire looked a little different, but I figured that was because they had washed it. The mechanic, seeing me examining the tire, came out and said the tire needed some air, but other than that it was fine. I asked about the nail, and when he looked dumbfounded, I had a momentary dumbspell. “Maybe there wasn’t a nail and it was just a small pebble wedged in the tire treads,” I said.

He agreed, noting the cold air the previous night can sometimes cause tires to lose a little air and look flat.

Jenny and I laughed about this, thinking our own foolishness actually saved us $50 since we were no longer going to take a Ducks tour, much to the unhappiness of Braden.

When we arrived in Plover and I attempted to fill up our gas tank – I couldn’t because the gas station ran out of gas, which is perfectly fitting to how things had gone – Braden asked Jenny about our “old tire” I had taken off. “They put it back on,” Jenny said, realizing maybe that wasn’t the case.

She got out of the vehicle and asked if the tire on our vehicle was still the spare. I looked at it, and said I don’t think so. “Look at the tire in the back,” she said.

As soon as I looked back there I saw the nail that originally started our troubles. “&*@#” and a few other choice words slipped out of me at that point.

We went to the Plover location of the same chain store, determined to fix the problem so Jenny wouldn’t have to drive to Marshfield on a spare the next day.

They were much nicer there, but unfortunately they were equally as inept. After hearing about our problem, the people there said they’ll fix it. Come back in 40 minutes, they said.

Forty minutes later, we returned to our car parked in the same location, untouched. “We have a problem,” they said. “The nail is located in an area we can’t patch up for liability reasons.”

Because the nail was located on the curve of the tire, policy dictates the mechanics there aren’t allowed to fix it. I understand this and realize I’m not going to convince them to change their policy. But, what I couldn’t understand was how they couldn’t page us or call us – they had our phone number – to let us know immediately about the issue, so we didn’t have to waste another 40 minutes looking at items on store shelves we had no intention of buying.

Fuming, I had Jenny handle the situation, which required another 40-minute wait as they replaced the spare with a brand new tire. I sat on a bench during this time, refusing to look at any items for the fear of purchasing anything from a store angering me.

This part of the escapade occurred during the second half of the Packers-Lions game, and when we finally got back in the car I heard the Packers announcer shout something about a first down being “the dagger” to give the Packers the victory. It sounded exciting, and at least it wasn’t a nail like the one we had to deal with. Only later did I learn the Packers barely escaped with a win, putting up a pathetic effort in the half and barely deserving the victory.

At least they came away with a win. We came away without a Ducks tour, a new tire to replace a tire we just purchased a few months ago, and a wasted morning and afternoon spent dealing with a stupid nail and a chain store that made the problem worse. I’ll take the Packers’ afternoon any day.