Poker player lost without game opportunities

Texas Hold ’Em is the greatest card game ever and I don’t have enough opportunities to play it.
For those not familiar with this poker game, players are dealt two cards, which they keep hidden from other players, and they can use these cards, along with five community cards, to try to make the best five-card hand.
The best hand doesn’t necessarily win, though, because like any poker game, players can bluff people out of the hand through the four betting rounds.
Most people are probably familiar with Texas Hold ’Em because it is on television more than “Seinfeld” re-runs. It is the featured game at the Main Event during the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas every year, and it is usually the featured game during the World Poker Tour, shown on the Travel Channel.
Many of the best Texas Hold ’Em Players are celebrities – Doyle Brunson, Phil Hellmuth, Johnny Chan, and my favorite, Daniel Negreanu, are just a few of the big names. They’ve all made millions playing the game and will continue to make millions more.
I’d love to make millions playing the game, but I’m too scared to bet much more than the $10 buy-in during games I have with friends and relatives. I’d have to win a lot of games to make that kind of dough. Since poker is often a game where luck beats skill, and it is a game that takes several hours to complete, I wouldn’t possess enough good fortune or time to make enough money for retirement.
My bigger problem, though, is I don’t have enough opportunities to play the game. Several years ago my friends would come to my house on a weekly basis and we’d play a game, which had a pot between $60 and $100 depending on the number of players.
I made much more than I ever lost, mainly because I was able to “read” my friends and figure out when they were bluffing or had serious hands.
It’s even easier when I get together with relatives, especially my sisters-in-law, and we play a game. More often than not I go home with the pot.
But I don’t get together with relatives often, and my friends are too busy to play a regular game, so I’ve become a poker player without a game. Much like a hunter without a gun, a toddler without a toy, a dog without a bone, or an Oceanic Flight 815 survivor on a mysterious island, I’m lost.
I’ve been lost for the last year. It started when I packed up my poker chips and table in anticipation of moving to Stevens Point. We’re still at our house in Wautoma, waiting for the sale to finalize, leaving me without my poker weapons.
The only three games I have played during this time have been with relatives. I’m 3-0, taking home a measly $50 since the number of players has been minimal and the buy-ins were only $5. It’s hard to become a poker-playing millionaire this way.
I could become an Internet player, but that’s no fun. It’s hard to “read” players when you can’t see them and it’s even harder to taunt them when you can’t talk to them.
Not all players taunt. It’s a tactic to take people off their game, although it can sometimes backfire. Nothing is worse than taunting somebody and then having that player take you down, allowing him or her to return the taunts two-fold and publicly embarrass you.
I use my taunts moderately. If I sense a player is genuinely weak and taunting will make him or her weaker, I’m not afraid to let the taunts fly. More times than not that will really throw the player off and I will take his or her chips after forcing a stupid play.
Stupid play is usually the biggest factor in causing a person to lose. I had a friend that once put all of her chips in the pot on the first hand in an attempt to bluff another player out. The other player quickly called all her bets and obviously had a big hand. When the cards were flipped over, my friend had a lousy pair of eights, while the other player had four-of-a-kind. Smart players would have held up on the betting or folded if suspecting their opponent held a big hand because of the bet.
Unfortunately, I haven’t even had the luxury of watching stupid players in a long time. I even stopped watching poker on television, mainly because the pros I like to watch never get any airtime because the game has become overrun with amateurs – people like me that wish to become pro but unlike me because they actually put money on the line to do so.
Oh well, at least I’ve had plenty of time to practice my taunting. I feel sorry for the next fool that plays me.