Spite is great motivator

Spite, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “petty ill will or hatred with the disposition to irritate, annoy, or thwart.” Although I rarely do anything spiteful, another person’s bad parking job that left me unable to access my vehicle from the driver’s side over the weekend caused me to resort to spite.
Parked correctly in a stall at the grocery store, my son and I went shopping for a few items, returning to find another person had parked next to my vehicle and left only six inches between my driver’s side and his or her minivan.
I tried to squeeze between the two vehicles, hoping my son and I could somehow fit through the door and into the vehicle. That didn’t happen, so we had to enter through the passenger’s side. My son, still in need of a car seat, had no problem doing so, but I’m a big guy and climbing over the middle console was not an easy chore.
Once firmly entrenched in my driver’s seat, I pulled forward, stopped and looked for something to write on so I could leave the bad parker a little note, out of spite. To my amazement, I found a pack of Post-It Notes my wife had left in the vehicle.
Thoughts flashed through my head. I could swarm the minivan with Post-It Notes, each with little messages from me telling Mr. or Ms. Can’t Park exactly what I thought about his or her not-so-courteous park job, changing the color of the vehicle from a salty blue to a faded yellow, the color of the Post-It Notes.
These thoughts made me laugh. The anger I had felt because I couldn’t enter my vehicle properly was now gone, replaced with a funny idea that I had to partially carry out, just to say I did so.
So instead of blanketing the minivan with Post-It Notes, I put just one on the windshield, with a simple message: “Learn to park.”
Maybe it was mean, and maybe the culprit was some little old lady that truly didn’t realize she was keeping me from my vehicle, but my action was more to calm my anger than to spite its target. If I had been more spiteful, I would have parked elsewhere to watch the car owner’s reaction to my note. But I was satisfied, so I left the scene. I’m sure any reaction wouldn’t have been as vivid as my imagination.
Spite motivated me to do this. It also reminded me of two “Seinfield” episodes – “The Wig Master” and “The Shower Head.” One of the reasons “Seinfeld” remains a classic television show is because it light-heartedly made fun of all the emotions people feel on an everyday basis, including spite.
In “The Wig Master” Jerry purchased a jacket, but wanted to return it after realizing he didn’t like the salesman. When asked why he was returning it, Jerry said he was doing so out of spite. He was denied, because spite is not a valid reason for returning merchandise.
George’s parents were willing to move to Florida just to spite Jerry’s parents, because the two couples did not get along, in “The Shower Head.”
Spite may be a great motivator, but it’s bad at providing fruitful results. None of the Seinfeld characters acting on spite got what they wanted.
Spite also acted against me. When I got home I discovered my jacket and pants were covered with salt, which came from the minivan when I leaned across it to place the Post-It Note on the windshield. Spite had the last laugh.