Being handy should not mean being father-in-law

My wife said something the other day that made me laugh. “I married a person that’s my dad in every aspect, except you’re not handy.”
I laughed partly because I completely agree with her that I’m like her father, but also because she had to add that I’m not handy.
I’ll agree I’m not Bob the Builder when it comes to my handiness, but I’ll disagree with her about the statement in general. Given a good set of instructions, I can do just about anything. I’ve put together desks, bookcases, cribs and entertainment centers, and I’ve been able to successfully set up all of our electronics at home, from an under-the-cupboard CD player to our recently-purchased Nintendo Wii.
What I can’t do is fix things that break. When our hot water heater broke a couple of years ago, I relied on my father-in-law to determine the type we needed to purchase and then to have him install it. He’s also fixed toilets and leaking pipes for us, and installed our washer and dryer, as I stood by and watched.
I have a partial excuse for not being able to fix things – I’m a newspaper reporter. We tend to know a little about a lot of things, and not a lot about a few things. It’s been my nature since I was a kid, which is why I became a reporter.
I was really good at math in high school, and if I had been smart I would have stuck with it and become an engineer or some other professional who makes a lot more money, but after three years of it I got bored and opted to take another class – Foods 1. Instead of learning a lot more about math my senior year, I opted to learn a little bit about cooking. It’s a skill that has served me well, although by no means am I a gourmet chef since I haven’t bothered to learn a lot about cooking.
My father-in-law is a plumber, so calling on him to fix and install plumbing-related items is a no-brainer. I would even venture to say that if I was proficient at fixing things, I would still call him to make sure they got done perfectly.
This is a man who once fixed my wife’s broken car with items like rubber bands, clothespins and combs, making the vehicle drivable until a mechanic could make permanent fixtures. He once saved a neighbor of his $20,000 by somehow getting the man’s well pump to work, long after everyone else thought it was a dried up well and not a faulty pump. He also transformed a decrepit lake home into a wonderful weekend retreat shortly after acquiring it.
So, while my wife may say I’m not handy, in reality I’m as handy as most people and comparing me to a real-life McGyver just isn’t fair.
If I wanted to be unfair like this, I could compare her quilt-making abilities to those of her mother. My wife once attempted to make a quilt, but she nearly killed the cat after leaving thread out that it swallowed. Our cat survived the incident, although according to our veterinarian many of them don’t because the thread can cut through many of their innards.
She never finished the quilt, but she’s awesome at knitting. These skills may not be specifically related to quilting, but they are close enough to it that I would rank my wife as a slightly above-average quilter – even considering the fact she nearly killed the cat.
But her mother can churn quilts out like Michael Phelps can win gold medals: quickly, with precision, and award-winning. I don’t think she’s ever entered any of her quilts in a contest, but I know she would win them if she did.
My point is sometimes it’s not fair to compare a competent person with someone that’s light years better than most mortals at that skill. So when my wife says that I’m just like her dad, except I’m not handy, I’ll laugh at the statement. Not because I agree and think I’m not handy, but because it’s not a fair fight.
Now, if she had said I’m just like her dad, except I’m not a genius at making electricity out of two sticks, an ounce of water and a paperclip, I’d have to agree with her.