Yoda is small and green, not big and yellow

Some of the best comedians on this planet are young kids. Bill Cosby knows this, and half of his career, and half his success, has been harnessing the comedy they provide and making it enjoyable for everybody.
Personal experience with my 3-year-old son, Braden, has taught me about this comedy. He often says things that make my wife, Jenny, and me laugh harder than even the best joke, comedian or funny movie can make us laugh.
For example, Braden and I were watching one of the “Star Wars” movies the other night, something we often do before bedtime – because nothing makes for better dreams than thinking of a galaxy far, far away – and I started imitating Yoda’s voice. Imitating Yoda is a specialty of mine, and it guarantees a laugh or two from anyone that hears it.
But not Braden. He told me to stop it, as I’m not Yoda.
Seeing an opportunity to tease him a little bit, I insisted I was now Yoda and I would be talking like this forever.
“You’re not Yoda,” Braden said to me. “You’re not small and green. You’re big and yellow.”
The sincerity in which he told me that caused me to break character and laugh. My wife laughed even harder. “I guess he told you,” she said.
Innocent, yet hilariously true, statements like that are always funny. Kids can also be humorous just in the way they say things that aren’t funny.
When I dropped Braden off at daycare earlier this week, his mouth went into overdrive telling the front desk office ladies about his trip to the Central Wisconsin Children’s Museum in Stevens Point over the weekend.
“They have a new set-up at the museum,” he said, referring to the new exhibit focusing on eating healthy. “It’s got a castle, and tunnels, and alligators. You can go to the museum if you want. I’m going to have my birthday party there, and you can come. Do you want to see my band-aid?”
Nothing he said was particularly funny, but the way he said everything so quickly, not allowing anybody else to speak was hilarious. “He’s definitely a bright spot in the morning,” one of the ladies said.
Sometimes, kids say things that are embarrassing to some, but funny to everyone else.
Braden took a trip to the store with his grandmother in December. When they arrived he told her he’ll “pay the money.”
Thinking he was talking about a parking meter, she told him there were none and they didn’t need to pay anything.
Braden persisted, so to quiet him she said she didn’t have any money.
When they got to the entrance at the store, the boy ran to the person manning the Red Kettle there and said they couldn’t pay because his grandmother “didn’t have any money.”
Without missing a beat, the man told the boy that was OK, because a lot of people don’t have any money right now.
Embarrassed, his grandmother managed to find a couple of quarters in her purse to give to Braden to put in the Red Kettle. She hadn’t been aware that I gave him money to give to Red Kettle people whenever we went to the store.
And sometimes kids just say things that are plain funny.
At daycare last year, he told one of his teachers to kiss his butt. Normally, this would be naughty, but he said it after falling on it and hurting it. Owies always feel better after being kissed, he reasoned.
Braden humorously tried to use an owie as an excuse to get cake recently. When he fell and hit his head at grandma’s house, she told him he had to keep ice on the bump to make it better. He didn’t like the ice and said only birthday cake she had made for his mother the following day could make it better.
The way kids reason is usually always funny. Braden likes talking about “when the snow goes back up” or when “he gets little and goes in mommy’s tummy.” Neither can technically occur, but the gist of what he is trying to say is humorously there.
A kid’s honesty is also funny, even if it hits too close to the truth. When his grandmother told him she needed to get her snow pants ready for when he came over, he laughed and said she can’t have snow pants because she’s too old.
People who like laughter in their lives should have a kid, or borrow one for awhile from somebody they know. The laughter the kid provides will definitely be a bright spot in the morning, daytime and evenings.