“I Love You, Man” explores the relationships guys have with other guys in a relatively new genre called the “bromance” (get it – “bros” plus “romance,” minus physical contact, of course).
Many guys have probably never said “I love you, man” to another guy before, myself included, although we may have strong and deep feelings about guy friends nearly identical to the feelings we reserve for spouses, girlfriends and relatives, minus the desire for physical contact, of course (“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” as Jerry Seinfeld once famously said). Acknowledging we’ve seen and liked “I Love You, Man” may be the closest we ever get in saying it.
It’s not that we are afraid of exhibiting such non-superficial feelings for our bros, but it’s because saying “I love you” to anyone means exposing ourselves in ways we don’t want to be exposed. Women eventually expect it, so delivering the line to them is easier; however, we probably still don’t say it enough even though saying it subsequent times isn’t difficult anymore.
But saying it to another guy, even someone that may be your closest friend, is nearly impossible. Why? A.) It puts the person you say it to in an undesirable situation in reacting. That person is not prepared, and will either suspect you are drunk, coming on to him or losing your mind. Guys don’t do this to one another, except in cases of the aforementioned reasons. B.) The person saying it will have no motivation to say it, unless he is drunk, sexually attracted to the friend or losing his mind. My friends know how I feel about them, so I don’t actually have to say it.
I’ve always been the type of guy who has one or two close guy friends at any given time. They are guys who share my main interests: movies, music, fishing, video games and other typical guy things. I’ve never been one who drinks a lot, so going out to bars or holding “keggers” at my home has never been my scene, and as a result most of my close friends aren’t heavy drinkers either.
Since I moved around a lot as a kid – from Wautoma to Neshkoro in sixth grade, then Neshkoro to Berlin in eighth grade, and then Berlin to Ripon for college – I’ve had a variety of best guy friends. Jake and Jeff in Wautoma, Byron in Neshkoro, Tim and Mike in Berlin, and Chad and Alex in Ripon.
I disconnected with most of these friends after moving, although I’ve reconnected with several of them recently through Facebook. Alex from Ripon is the only one I still talk to and see on a regular basis, but even that’s difficult because he’s been living in Japan for the last 10 years, working as a teacher and making his name as a professional kickboxer.
If I ever said “I love you, man,” to him prior to the film of the same name coming out, he’d probably show me exactly how he’s made a name for himself in the world of kickboxing, and I’m sure I wouldn’t like it. But now that the film has come out, and bromances are socially acceptable, he’d probably just laugh. He might even say it back, so we can both share a good laugh.
The editor at The Gazette, Gene Kemmeter, read my review of the film and asked how bromances are any different than buddy movies, films like “Butch Cassidy and the Sunshine Kid,” “Midnight Cowboy,” “Dumb and Dumber” and “The Blues Brothers.” Probably not much, in fact, except bromances seem a little more intimate than buddy movies. With buddy films, most everything about the friendship is implied, while in bromances the characters are more vocal about the friendship, even saying things like “I love you, man.”
However, it’s a blurry line that separate the two genres, and arguments can probably be made for any of these types of films to be placed in either of the two genres.
But come on, let’s be honest. It’s a lot more fun to tell someone you went to see a bromance, rather than a buddy film.
Originally published in The Portage County Gazette in March 2009.
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