Conversation becomes more difficult following election

Now that the election is over, what will people talk about?
The election has been a source of a lot of conversations in the last few months. I know I’ve had plenty of political discussions about are sorts of issues, not just the presidential race, with people who both share and disagree with my political views. (Just for the record, I’ll keep that view mum in print, as I always do.)
But now that a new president has been elected, and other issues and races have been decided, debating and talking about the results may provide a few more conversations, although none of them will be nearly as much fun as the ones before the election.
However, it’s hard to get into a nasty political discussion in which you get damned to an eternal hell by someone with an opposing view in talking about election results, although it may be fun to push a few buttons to trigger such a response. What is done is done, and your personal opinion doesn’t really matter anymore.
People could talk about the weather, always an easy conversation, but it’s been pretty mild outside, and unless we get hit up with some of last winter’s weather, this topic is dead with the first uttering of “So, what do you think about this weather?”
Talking about the economy is too depressing, and nobody wants to hear about somebody’s job that’s not their own. I suppose people could always talk about the Green Bay Packers, but I think everybody got their fill during the whole Brett Favre ordeal. Even though I would like to mention his team is 5-3, while the Packers are only 4-4, and his team was definitely the lesser team based on last year’s records.
I’ve never watched “The View” in my life, but it was a subject people could always chime in with an opinion about based on the political arguments those ladies were bickering about. But those ladies won’t have much to argue about now that the election is over.
Fortunately for “The View” ladies, they can bring celebrities onto their show and talk with them. Ordinary people like us don’t have that luxury. We could always talk about celebrities, but even that topic is stale since Britney Spears is no longer driving around without a license and hitting paparazzi while holding her babies and munching on Cheetos as Michael Jackson dangles his from balconies.
What is needed now for a good conversation is some sort of fire starter. And guess what, I’ve got five of them. In no particular order:
1) Ask the person you are attempting to have a conversation with about the exact thought he or she is thinking about at that moment. My wife does this to me all the time, and when we were dating I used to try to think of genius-sounding replies for when she asked me that question. I didn’t want to sound too foolish. Now, I actually tell her what I’m thinking. I’m a guy, so most of the time my thoughts are simple – food, funny, football. Basically, anything the Hulk would say.
2) Pick a subject you know nothing about, research it a little, and then try to impress others with your knowledge about the subject. Make sure it is something they don’t know anything about and one they don’t think you know anything about. For example, headhunters in Africa would be a great topic. It’s interesting and nobody really knows much about them. But the Internet has volumes about the subject. Wikipedia is a great friend here.
3) Talk about a recent bad experience at a restaurant. That’s a topic most everybody has experienced, and it’s one people love to talk about. It’s fun to compare horror stories, and oftentimes people try to outdo each other in terms of who had the worst experience.
4) If you find the adults in your presence are really boring, start a conversation with a young child. I’ve got a 3-year-old and talking with him is always entertaining. Simple questions such as “Well, why is that?” can provoke complicated answers that make absolutely no sense but are hilarious. Or sometimes you might get a question in reply to your question. “You tell me why” is my favorite one. If you don’t know how to talk to young children like this, YouTube “Bill Cosby” and “Children,” and he’ll show you how to master it.
5) If all of these fire starters fail, you could always talk about the next presidential election. “Who should run four years from now?” sounds like a great one. Just don’t be surprised if you get punched in the face. But then you would be a hero, because you would provide plenty of conversation for others around you.