Relationship thrives on mix-tape history

While driving to Richland Center last weekend with my wife, Jenny, Bob Seger’s “You’ll Accompany Me” came on the radio. Most people would agree it’s a great song, but for me it’s even more special as it was on a mix-tape I made for my wife before we even officially dated – several years before in fact.
But Jenny doesn’t share the same connection to the song, as she didn’t bother to listen to the mix-tape, a fact that amuses her to this day as I always manage to point this out anytime we hear a song I had put on that mix-tape.
Mix-tapes, in my opinion, are the ultimate expression of one’s feelings for another. People obsessed with music like I am may spend hours deciding the songs they want to put on a mix-tape they are making for someone, and then nearly the same amount of time deciding the order those songs should go on it. And once finished, the tape may get thrown out and the process is started over again in order to perfect it even more.
I’ve obviously made a few mix-tapes in my life, all done so with 100-percent commitment on my part. I’ve made mix-tapes for friends who enjoy music as much as I do, and for girls I’ve either dated or wanted to date.
Jenny fell in the wanted-to-date category. We had met at a wedding and formed an instant connection. I found out later she was dating some dude, but their relationship was rocky as he was a complete loser. Make that a complete and utter loser who somehow managed to find a girl that would date him who was miles better than he could ever hope to be.
Smelling the potential break-up, I asked Jenny out. She agreed to go to a movie, noting to me that we were doing so just as friends as she had a boyfriend.
That didn’t stop me from making a mix-tape. My thought being if I put together an impressive song list, one that could show my good taste and my intelligence, she would dump him immediately and go out with me.
I started by writing a list of potential songs to put on the mix-tape, including a good selection of songs by some of my favorite artists like Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan. I then eliminated songs that were: a.) not that good or b.) not relevant to the situation, with the situation being that I wanted her to dump the loser dude and give me a shot.
I did this several times to get enough songs to fill a 90-minute cassette (it was 1998 and cassettes were still the way to go in making mixed-tapes, as many people, like myself, did not have CD burners at the time).
The final tape had songs like The Ramones’ “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend,” Seger’s “You’ll Accompany Me,” Dylan’s “Shelter from the Storm” and Springsteen’s “Thunder Road.” Subtlety was not my virtue.
We went to the movie together, and towards the end of the non-date I handed her the tape, letting her know it was just something I threw together and hoped she would enjoy.
We did more things together in the coming months as friends, although she didn’t drop the zero nor mention the mix-tape. I even met him at another wedding, although I’m guessing neither of us really wanted to meet each other as my friendship with Jenny was the subject of several arguments between the two.
Eventually the pair broke up, much to my pleasure, but she and I weren’t meant to be yet, as she knew I was at a point in my life where I wanted to settle down and she was still in college, not yet ready to do so. I even ended the friendship for awhile, as I wanted to move on and knew I couldn’t do so if all I thought about was her.
This worked out for both of us because when I did resume the friendship, we acted more like friends to each other rather than people who were confused by their feelings for the other, and eventually she reached the point where she wanted to settle down and knew I was the one she wanted to be with.
When we did become an official couple, I asked her about the mix-tape, hoping she still had it. At first she tried to say it got lost in her move from college to her own apartment in Madison, and that it would eventually turn up.
But I didn’t let the subject go, forcing her to admit she never listened to it and it ended up in the garbage. She had a pretty good reason, though, citing she was scared because of some of the song titles and their subjects. Like I said, subtlety was not my virtue.
Mix-tapes, this time in the form of a CD, ended up playing a relevant role in our continuing relationship. At one point she gave me two mix-CDs, which I listened to so much that they are no longer listenable. I still have them, as a keepsake. And at our wedding we made mix-CDs for all the guests. It even included some of the songs I had put on the original mix-tape.